Grace Driven Obedience

I have a confession to make.  It may not go over well, and people may take it in wayward directions, but it needs to be said.  I do not have a passion for home educating.  My days are not filled with thoughts on how to teach a new concept or idea.  Homeschool meetings, workshops, and conferences make me want to toil elsewhere.  Observations and illustrations to teach in an unconventional, out-of-the-box method do not spring to my mind.

Home educating for me is one day at a time.  Still.  Going into my second year of lesson plans, and third year of learning-at-home, I still plead with the Lord for patience, wisdom and guidance.  Teaching my children is a grace driven obedience.

This is not to say that there is not joy and satisfaction in the endeavor, or that I do not enjoy spending the time with my children.  I do enjoy the precious moments with my kids.  Watching them discover a new Biblical truth, gaining more knowledge about the world God placed them in, watching them grow into the beautiful people God made them to be, and stewarding their hearts and minds are a gift.

My discerning husband made an incredible observation this week.  My biggest obstacle in teaching our children is my fear.  Fear that I will not honor God in my approach and relationship with my children.  I fear that I will not be able to provide my children with the knowledge, or the ability to learn to obtain the knowledge, they need to love God with their minds, bodies, and souls.  We have refused to home educate out of fear; yet, as many know, the roots of sin anchor differently in believer's lives.

These fears lead me to over-thinking, over-planning, over-organizing, and over-stressing.  I act as though I am in control of my children's destinies, and not my good and Sovereign God.  My illusion of control gives me a fake sense of comfort in the moment, but let my day or my expectations not go as planned and my idolatry is exposed.  My trust is not always in Jesus and His energy working through me (Col 1:29), but rather often in my ability to toil and labor for my children or my family.

So, I am slowly learning to pray. To listen and wait on God's instruction in which path to take, which lesson to teach, and what focusing on today looks like.  I cannot worry about tomorrow, it will worry for itself (Mat 6:24).  Instead, I will ask the Lord for grace to walk in obedience.

How I Squeeze (most of) It In

The most common question I get asked, funny enough, is "how do you have time to work-out?"  The answer: "I make time!"  I am a person greatly affected by exercise.  Step mills, treadmills, and weights are where I do a lot of my thinking.  Jillian Michaels gets a lot of my wrath.  ;)  If you don't care when I work-out,  but you're just looking for "Mommy time" then maybe seeing my schedule will encourage you.

6:45 a.m.- Roll out of bed to enjoy coffee, reading my Bible/prayer, and doing some homework (Biblical counseling training, Recovery, etc)

7:45 a.m. - Wash face and put on work-out clothes

8:00 a.m. - Breakfast for the family, morning chores for kids (including getting dressed)

8:30/9:00 a.m. - School time!  I will post soon about what our school time looks like; however, we do the workbox method, and this allows me to get a lot done around the house while the kids are working.

11:30 a.m. - Pack up our lunch containers (again, another post) and head to the gym.  The kids eat on their way to the gym.

1:00 p.m. - Head home from gym

1:15 p.m.-3:00 p.m. - Selah naps.  Boys (6 & 4) nap, play quietly, or read in room for quiet time.  During this time I shower, get dressed, clean some more, plan for the next day's school lesson, and check my emails or return phone calls

3:00 p.m. - Afternoon chores for the kids & then free play.  This is the time we try to make play-dates, co-ops, go on nature walks,  or go to the park.  If we had a "field-trip" or co-op in the morning we spend this time doing book work.

4:30 p.m. - Dinner prep

5:15 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. - Eat Dinner

5:30 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. - Clean kitchen, sweep floor, and get ready for that night's events.  We have three nights a week that are continually scheduled.

6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. - Church/ministry or family time.

8:30 p.m. - Kids are in bed!  

8:30 p.m. - 10 p.m. - Depends on the night, and what did or did not get done during the day.  ;)

10:30 p.m. - Brandon and I go to bed.

I will say that Brandon works from home.  There are some days when I run errands while the kids nap, but before he started working from home in September I would run the errands on Wednesdays once the kids got up from their naps.  It has been a tremendous blessing having Brandon working from home, our family is always together, but our actual schedule has not changed much - I just have some adult company.  :)

Why We Home Educate

When I was pregnant with my son I grew tired from the resistance about my desire to homebirth.  Family and friends questioned our decision for me to be a stay-at-home mom on my husband's small salary. Then people's eyebrows raised when I nursed my children longer than a year.  Little did I know that those things were only preparing me for the many conversations I would have about home educating.

Many times my heart is saddened after talking with other parents about our decision to not send our children to school.  Not sad for them, or for me, but sad because so many times we look at other people's choices as an indictment against what we have chosen for our families.  Our choice to educate our kids at home was very difficult decision to make.  Anyone who knows me personally can attest to this.  There were many insecurities, many prayer requests made, and many, many times of complete resistance to the responsibility of training young minds.

Ultimately, the Lord broke me over one thing.  My husband and I wanted our children's foundations to be built on the Word of God.  We believe Scripture to be infallible, and sufficient in all areas of life.  

Let me explain that last part a little bit.  The last few weeks we have spent memorizing and studying Psalm 23.  From Psalm 23 my children have learned about the Great Shepherd, shepherds' roles historically, sheep dogs, what it means to be a lamb of God, Jesus as the lamb, actual sheep, pastures, different bodies of water, and on and on I could go.  We also do phonics, a math program, many life skills, and Montessori activities.  However, I love that all of our curriculum is built on the Word.

My husband and I have said that each year we will pray about what the Lord has for each of our children the following school year.  We are not committed to our plans or our ideals, but what God is leading us to do as parents.  We strongly believe that God cares more about what our children learn than we do.

We also do not home educate out of fear.  Our children do not stay home with us, because we are scared people will make fun of their foil hats. ;) We continually ask the Lord to keep our hearts focused on what we are for rather than getting on a soapbox about what we are against.  

It is only by grace I get through the days as a teaching Mom.  There isn't a teacher bone in my body, but I have continually been met at every point of need by God and sometimes through people.  In obedience I started out on this journey, and it is by daily obedience we will get through one year at a time.

Tattered Cape

On any given day if you were to drop by my house you would find me running around in a t-shirt, jeans, and my hair back in a pony-tail. Dishes would be soaking in the sink, kids projects strewn across my kitchen counter, a quilt and couch pillows thrown on the floor by my toddler, and you would have to step over kids toys in the entry. It would not be long before my 6-year-old was showing you a Lego creation, my 4-year-old would ask you to pick him up, and my 2-year-old would have you convinced she was hungry an hour after breakfast.

On a good day, school starts at 8 a.m. after I have spent time reading my Bible, drinking my coffee, and a load of laundry has been started. A patient Mom would be sitting on the couch praying and starting our lessons in the children’s Bible. We would move on to the theme of the day, math, phonics, calendar, and classic literature. My kids would be following along and listening. Lunch and dinner would be plates loaded with healthy, balanced and “whole” foods. These are many of our days.

However, on a bad day 8 a.m. comes and goes and I am still in my pajamas. My kids are running through the house, and my husband is shushing them and handing out books. I am gathering materials, and trying to figure out where I placed my lesson plans. When we start 30 minutes late I am frazzled and the kids are wound up. A bad day usually involves many “steps” (time-outs), and Mommy losing her patience and yelling. Bad days mean hurried lunches, and dinners I put no thought into preparing or making. While these days provide plenty of opportunity for spontaneous prayer, and asking each other for forgiveness, they also humble me.

Friends ask what my days look like as a homeschooling Mom of three kids 6-years-old and under, and while I would love to say it is always a joy the truth is is that it is not. There are moments where I feel overwhelmed, and nights when I am discouraged. At times I wish my brain would shut off, and I could stop researching health and holistic living issues. The Lord is so good to me though. Not once has there been a time when I have gone to God in prayer and confessing my weakness that He has not taught and helped me.

I am not “Wonder Woman” nor am I “Super Mom.” Like many of you, I am a young woman raising three kids, and trying to figure out how to honor God in what He has called me to do. As I blog, and get to know you, I hope to both share with you the things on my heart, what I have learned, mistakes I have made and how I manage my home. ”Medley31” is not just about me and my journey though – I want to know you. My prayer over this blog is that this is a place of encouragement, sharpening, and learning.

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope we have more time together.